Blind Muscat's Cellarbook

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Wine industry trade shows provide wonderful insight into the sometimes mysterious world of wine. Nothing cuts through the intentional obfuscation of the marketing departments like a stroll past the rows of tanks and the stacks of barrels, the demonstrations of cleaning equipment and the array of pumps, the shelves of “natural” additives and racks of electronic measuring devices. Blind Muscat’s idea of a breath of fresh air.

And so it was this past week up in Portland at the trade show attached to the annual meetings of the American Society for Enology and Viticulture. But I was saddened to discover that my new favorite vendor, one I only discovered this past January at the Unified trade show in Sacramento, wasn’t there: The Rodenator.

The Generic Napa Press Release

In addition to writing articles with my byline on them for various magazines, I pay some of the bills with commercial wine writing—websites, press releases, tasting notes for wine clubs, that sort of thing. Last week I was on the verge of such a gig, working with a publicist who had gotten a feeler from a Napa Valley wannabe winery and needed a writer to help tell their tale. But it turned out that the potential clients’ plan was 1) hire someone to make a wine that the Wine Expectorator would rate at 95 points, and 2) hire someone to make up a good story about the winery. The publicist declined the gig—good for her—and I’m reduced to doing a blog posting.

So in honor of this past weekend’s Napa Valley Wine Auction, and as a public service for those prospective cult producers who have no clue, here is my—free!—template for the Generic Napa Cabernet Press Release:

David Jones, Gone Too Soon

The Bay Area wine writing community is mourning the passing of David Jones, arguably the hardest-working—if not the most famous—of our fratern/sorority. David died in his sleep June 3 after a year-long fight with ALS—Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, an incurable wasting syndrome more romantically known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

David was smart as a whip, more energetic than a firecracker, possessed of one of the most astute palates on the planet—and one hell of a nice guy. He wrote for more magazines and ‘zines than anyone could count, judged up and down the state, and played an essential, under-the-radar role with an outfit called WineWorks, the plumbing and wiring that got so many writers together in one place with so many wines over the years for tastings that nobody could pull off on their own.